That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
