My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
