he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
