i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The feeling are messing with the penis
BRING THE BAGELS
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
