break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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