I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
