school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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