I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
