ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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