Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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