It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
