Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
