just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
