i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
