Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
