I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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