id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
