I showed him my bush... on skype.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
