What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
