umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
