dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
