I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza