dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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