Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
