Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
