I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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