that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
