I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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