grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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