WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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