I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
