New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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