Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
