i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
