"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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