a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wish my penis had a tongue
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
