so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
