So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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