"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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