does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
