he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
