Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
