I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
