I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
