DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
