I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
