Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dicks are not precious.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
