Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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