if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
