wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
