Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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