PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
