I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
