I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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