i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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