He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
