Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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