so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
