you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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