What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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