I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
