Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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