I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
