i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
