Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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