Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize