my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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